"Just wanted to let you know that I'm not ignoring your texts; I'm practicing for my future career as a professional slow responder. 😄"
"They say texting while walking is dangerous, but I've taken it to a new level – texting while sleeping. My messages might be a bit dreamy!"
"If we were emojis, you'd be the laughing face, and I'd be the one with tears of joy! 🤣 Let's keep the laughter going!"
"Do you think the person who invented autocorrect is now enjoying a life full of mass confusion and misunderstandings? 😂"
"I was going to send you a funny joke, but then I remembered I'm terrible at jokes. So, here's a random smiley instead: 😁"
"Hey, have you ever tried turning adulthood off and then on again? I think mine might be malfunctioning. 🤪"
"Do you think cats secretly invented text messaging just so they could ignore us better? 🐱"
"I've discovered a new sport – texting with your eyes closed. The accuracy rate is surprisingly low!"
"I've decided to name my Wi-Fi network 'FBI Surveillance Van' to keep my nosy neighbors entertained. 🕵️♂️"
"Remember when we had to press actual buttons to text? Those were the days when our typos were legendary!"
"If laughter is the best medicine, our text conversations should be FDA-approved prescription drugs! 😆"
"Do you think Siri ever gets tired of people asking her to tell a joke? I'm sure she has some sassy responses saved up!"
"Hey, I just realized that the word 'bed' actually looks like a tiny bed. My mind is blown! 🛏️"
"I think my phone is on a diet because it keeps auto-correcting 'cake' to 'carrots.' It clearly doesn't understand the concept of birthdays!"
"I'm sending you this text to distract you from whatever you're doing, just like the rest of life. You're welcome! 🤣"
Remember, humor is subjective, so tailor these messages to your friend's sense of humor. A funny text can turn a regular day into a great one!
Absolutely! Letter board quotes are a fun and creative way to share humor and messages with others. Here are some funny letter board quotes to brighten up any space:
"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised. 😄"
"Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! ⚛️"
"I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands. It's more effective. 🎹"
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it! 🍔🍟🍕"
"I don't need an inspirational quote; I need coffee! ☕️"
"My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do. 🛌"
"I'm not lazy; I'm just on energy-saving mode. 😴"
"I'm not sure if I'm getting older and wiser or just more forgetful. Maybe it's both. 🤔"
"My housekeeping style is best described as 'there appears to have been a struggle.' 🏠"
"When nothing goes right, go left. 🏃♂️"
"My room isn't messy; it's an obstacle course designed to keep me fit. 🏋️♀️"
"I'm not clumsy; the floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way. 🤕"
"I'm not arguing; I'm just explaining why I'm right. 🗣️"
"I'm not short; I'm vertically efficient. 📏"
"When life gives you lemons, sell them and buy chocolate. 🍋🍫"
"I'm not lazy; I'm just on energy-saving mode. Send me a text, and I might wake up!"
"I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life. 🙃"
"I don't need a hairstylist; my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. #BedHead"
"I've been on a diet for two weeks, and all I've lost is 14 days. 🍕🍔"
"I'm not clumsy; it's just the floor hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way!"
"I put my phone on Airplane mode, but it didn't fly! Worst. Airplane. Ever. ✈️"
"I was going to make a pun about vegetables, but I couldn't find a suitable radish-ion. 🥕🍅"
"Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! 🌾"
"I'm not addicted to coffee; we're just in a committed relationship. ☕️❤️"
"I'd like to thank autocorrect for making my texts funnier than I originally intended. 😂"
"I think I might be getting old; I just said 'LOL' out loud. 🤣"
"I don't need a personal trainer; I just need someone to follow me around and slap the unhealthy food out of my hand!"
"Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems. 📚➗"
"I can't adult today. Can I go back to being a kid and get a nap and snacks instead?"
"I'm not procrastinating; I'm simply giving myself the gift of suspense. 🎁"
"Goodnight! Sleep well and dream about all the delicious food you'll eat tomorrow. Sweet dreams of pizza and chocolate chip cookies!"
"Time to hit the sack! I hope you have dreams so bizarre that even Freud would be scratching his head. Good night!"
"Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs... Oh, wait! Just kidding, there are no bed bugs here! Have a bug-free and peaceful sleep!"
"As you drift off to dreamland, remember that I'll be here tomorrow to remind you of all the silly things you said in your sleep. Good night!"
"May your dreams be as entertaining as watching a hilarious comedy show. Laugh your way to dreamland! 😄"
"Sleep is my favorite hobby. If only I could make a living out of it! Wishing you a snooze-filled and snore-free night!"
"Roses are red, violets are blue, time to sleep now, or I'll start rhyming again! Sweet dreams!"
"Sending you virtual hugs and a truckload of laughter to carry you through the night. Goodnight, you awesome human!"
"Sleeping is the best way to ignore problems. So, good night and avoid adulthood for a little longer!"
"May your dreams be so weird and wonderful that even Salvador Dali would be jealous. Good night, you imaginative soul!"
"If you see a giant marshmallow in your dreams, don't eat it! It might be your pillow. Sleep well!"
"As you lay down to sleep, remember that counting sheep is just an excuse to imagine fluffy ninjas jumping over your bed. Good night!"
"Don't let the bed bugs bite! But if they do, ask them politely to find another place to crash. Sleep tight!"
"Remember, it's not about the quantity of sleep but the quality of the dreams. May you have the most epic dreams tonight!"
"Wishing you a night filled with magical unicorns and dancing penguins. Go on, dream big and dream funny!"
“A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.” – Milton Berle
“Folks, I don’t trust children. They’re here to replace us.” – Stephen Colbert
“I didn’t give you the finger, you earned it.” – BIll Murray
“I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.” – Rodney Dangerfield
“I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.” – Groucho Marx
“I think it’s interesting that cologne rhymes with alone.” – Demetri Martin
“I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.” – Henny Youngman
“I would like to die on Mars. Just not on impact.” – Elon Musk
“I’m in shape. Round is a shape.” – George Carlin
“I’m trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.” – Larry David
“Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.” – Ellen DeGeneres
“These drapes are awful. One of us will have to go.” – Oscar Wilde
“When all else fails, there’s always delusion.” – Conan O’Brien
A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.
All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.
Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man – there’s your diamond in the rough.
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?… He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!
I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots.
I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
I live about four muggings from Central Park.
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.
I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
Formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil.
An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less.
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
Here are some funny belated birthday wishes to bring a smile to someone who has already celebrated their special day:
"I may have missed your birthday, but that just means you get to extend the celebration. Happy belated birthday week!"
"Sorry I'm late to the party! I blame it on the time zone difference between us and Mars. Belated happy birthday!"
"I didn't forget your birthday; I was just fashionably late with my wishes. Happy belated birthday, trendsetter!"
"They say age is just a number, but apparently, so is the date on my calendar! Belated happy birthday!"
"I promise I didn't forget your birthday; I was just trying to be fashionably late... by a few days. Happy belated birthday!"
"I'm not late; I'm just on 'island time.' Belated happy birthday to the coolest person I know!"
"I couldn't find the perfect gift for you, so I decided to be fashionably late with my birthday wishes instead. Happy belated birthday!"
"Better late than never, right? I'm like the Santa Claus of birthday wishes, delivering them just a bit late. Happy belated birthday!"
"I thought about sending you a birthday message on time, but where's the fun in that? Happy belated birthday, fashionably late friend!"
"I'm always on time; my birthday wishes are just on a different calendar. Belated happy birthday!"
"Congratulations on officially being 'fashionably older.' I hope your birthday was as amazing as you are. Happy belated birthday!"
"I'm sorry I missed your birthday; I got lost in the time-space continuum. Belated happy birthday, time traveler!"
"I didn't forget your birthday; I just wanted to surprise you with a belated birthday wish. Happy belated birthday!"
"I must be on 'birthday savings time' because my wishes are a bit delayed. Belated happy birthday!"
"I tried to be on time with my birthday wishes, but the universe had other plans. Happy belated birthday!"
Congratulations! You're officially adulting now. Remember, with great power comes great electricity bills.
Congratulations on reaching the next level! May your life continue to be as organized as your Netflix watchlist.
Congratulations! You've graduated from the School of Hard Knocks and now have a degree in Life. Get ready for the real world's pop quizzes!
Congratulations on your new job! From now on, your alarm clock will be your new best friend. It's time to adult like a pro!
Congratulations on your promotion! Now you get to delegate work instead of doing it all yourself. Just remember, boss spelled backward is double-SOB!
Congratulations on your marriage! Welcome to the "Happily Ever After" phase. Remember, compromise is the key to a happy life. And also remember, the remote control is always important.
Congratulations on your new baby! Get ready for sleepless nights, endless diaper changes, and the cutest little bundle of chaos you've ever seen!
Congratulations on your diet! Remember, salad is just an excuse to eat croutons and bacon.
Congratulations on surviving another year! Remember, age is just a number... a really big, scary number.
Congratulations on your new home! May it be filled with love, laughter, and maybe a few ghosts to keep things interesting.
Congratulations on winning the lottery! Now you can afford to buy all the things you didn't know you needed.
Congratulations on being awesome! Just remember, with great awesomeness comes great responsibility to share your snacks.
Congratulations on being fabulous! Don't forget to share your beauty secrets, but remember, it's mostly genetics and a good filter.
Congratulations on your new pet! Get ready for unconditional love, slobbery kisses, and never-ending fur on your clothes.
Congratulations on your retirement! Now you can do all the things you never had time for before, like napping and complaining about the weather.
Congratulations on being so clever! If only there was a Nobel Prize for being awesome. You'd totally win it!
Congratulations on being yourself! You're the best at it, so keep up the good work.
Congratulations on making it through another day without losing your mind. You deserve a medal for adulting like a boss!
Congratulations on being you! The world is a better place with your unique awesomeness in it. Keep shining!
A Sweet demand by a kid.
A kid was beaten by his mom.
Dad came n asked- what happen son?
Kid said-I cant adjust with your wife anymore,
I want my own.
Wanna make money through Facebook...??
and click on
De-activate your Account
Start Working...!! Lolz :-P
Judge: why r u arrested?
Sardar: for shopping early?
Judge: well, that's not a crime,
anyway how early were u shopping?
Sardar: before opening the shop.....:p
Smile to old means Respect
Smile to child mean Innocence
Smile to friend means Care
Smile in front of mobile, a mental case!
Still smiling? ;-)
Pagal ey oy
Teacher told all students
in a class to write an essay
on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote No match, due to rain!!!
Professor:Chemical symbol of Barium?
Professor:What will we get if 1 atom of BA
& 2 atoms of NA combined?
Height of coolness:
2 Guys coming out of the examination Hall with chips and coke in hands....
1st guy:which paper was it?
2nd guy:I think maths......
1st guy:(surprisingly) you read the question paper?
2nd guy: no I see a girl sitting besides me using calculator:>
Could u fax me ur photo very very urgently ?
Mind u - it's really very very urgent,
damn serious and very imp ....
I'm playing cards and
we've misplaced the JOKER.
Jab barish hoti hai, Tum yaad aate ho.
Jab kali ghata chaye, Tum yaad ate ho,
Jab bheegte hain tum yaad aate ho,
Bataoo Meri umbrella Kab wapis kro ge!
When u feel sad....
To cheer up just go to the mirror and say,
"damn I am really so cute"
u will overcome your sadness.
But don't make this a habit.....
Coz liars go to hell !!!!
A Good Teacher Is Who
Tells To Study Hard...
A Best Teacher Is Who
Stands Outside D
Examination Hall N Shouts. . .
"OYE CHECKING WALE AA GAYE
APNI APNI PARCHIY CHUPA LO..." =P =D
Sardar was busy removing
a wheel from his auto.
A man asks sardar why are
you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board.
Parking is only for 2 wheeler
Hey friend remember that
without stupidity there can be no wisdom
& without ugliness there can be no beauty
so the world needs YOU after all!
Examiner:y r u under tension?
Did u forget admit card,ID,or calculator?
By mistake i have brought tomorrow
exam's pharray (Cheating material) today:-)
A beautiful girl goes to Professor cabin
that i will do anything to pass in the exams
and professor says
NOW OPEN YOUR
Books And Study
Now stop looking at girls,u r commited now!
Oho what do u mean,
if i m on diet,
that doesnt mean that i cant look at MENU . . :-D
DAD:dear son,why yor sister sitting so silent
SON:Nothing dad sister asked
lipstik, but i gave fevistik.
No chip chip
no chik chik
Hey U Know
Which is the best day to propose a girl.. April 1
U Know Why??
If she accept its your luck
otherwise just tell April Foooooll.
Husband throwing knives on wifes picture.
All were missing the target!
Suddenly he received call from her
"Hi,wat ru doin?"
His honest reply,"MISSING U"
All say that love is more important than money..
Have u ever tried paying ur bill with a hug.. ? ? :P ;)
Human brain is the most
outstanding object in world.
It functions 24 hours a day,
365 days a year.
It functions right from the time we are born,
and stop only when we enter the examination hall.
Our friendship means a lot to me.
U cry i cry.
U laugh i laugh.
U jump out of the window
I look down & then
I laugh again
Wife:-I will die.
Husband:- I will also die.
Wife:-why will you die?
Husband:-because main itni khushi
bardasht nahin ker sakta:D
Never KISS a lady police,
She will say, hands up.
Never KISS a lady doctor,
She will say, Next please
Always KISS a lady teacher,
She will say, repeat it 5 time
Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE:-
Thats why boys go to college
A man found his wife having affair with a guy.
He decided 2 kill himself & his wife.
Apne kaan pe pistol lagai aur bola-
tu khush mat ho agla number tera hai!
Air & students hv d same mentality
Both r turning d book's pages without reading.
if sumone calls u crazy,dont mind,
if sumone calls u duffer,relax,
if sumone calls u stupid be cool,
but if sumone calls u "cute"
lagana thappar os pagal ke monh pe,
mazak ki b koi hud hoti hai
True Love is like a pillow.
U could HUG it when Ur in trouble.
U could CRY on it when Ur in pain.
U could EMBRACE it when Ur happy.
Want True Love?
Spend Rs.50 buy a Pillow.
A sardarji's boy asked his dad:
What is a grownup joke?
Sardar ji replied:
any joke which is eighteen years old
Teacher : U failure !
At ur age Bill gates stood first in the class
Student : Mind u, Sir,
but at ur age hitler commited suicide
Sardar to doctor:
When I sleep, monkeys
play football in my dreams.
just take this medicine b4 sleep.
Sardar: Kal se khaonga aaj final hai.
Whos hot... Its U,
Charming... Its U,
Sweetest.. Its U,
Intelligent... Its U,
Whos dear & near friend... Its U
Whos a liar.. Its me
Bachpanka Wo Yad-Gar Lamha
Jb Ami Kehti Thi
Beta Time Kiya Howa Hai
Or Main Kehta Tha
Choti Sui 10 Per Or Bari Sui 2 Per Hai.
Sheikh Ki Biwi Bemar Thi
Sheikh Ki Biwi Bemar Thi,
Light Nahi Thi To Es Ny
Candle Jala Di Or Bola:
Doctor Ko Leny Jaraha Hn,
Agar Tumhein Lagy K Tum Nahi
Bacho Gi To Plz Candle Bujha Dena.
Aik Lerky Ny Lerki Ko Propose
Aik Lerky Ny Lerki Ko Propose Keya!!
Lerki Ny Lerky Ko Khub Mara!
Utha K Mara
Chapal Sy Mara
Pathron Sy Mara
Ghaseet K Mara
Lerka Utha Or Kapry Jhaar Kr Boola
To Main Phr Inkar Samjho
Co-Education Mein 2 Tarah
Co-Education Mein 2 Tarah K Log Hoty Hain.
1- Jin Ko Degree Mil Jaati Hai
2- Jin Ko Rishta Mil Jaata Hai
Jahan Dekho Ishq K Bemar Bethy
Jahan Dekho Ishq K Bemar Bethy Hain
Hazaron Mar Gy Lakho Teyar Bethy Hain
Barbad Kr K Apni Taleem Lerkiyon K Pechy
Phr Kehty Hain K,
Molvi Sahab Dua Krein Berozgar Bethy Hain.
Aik Pagal Dosary Pagal Sy
Aik Pagal Dosary Pagal Sy:
Aik Dafa Mere Uper Sy Bus
Guzar Gae Thi.
Dosara Pagal: To Phir Kiya
Pehla Pagal: Wo To Acha Howa
Uper Pul Tha Warna Main Mar
Cousins At Weddings Be Like
Cousins At Weddings Be Like
-Tum Bhag K Naan Or Raita Le Ana
-Main Bottiyan Daal Laon Ga
-Ali Tu Botlain Or Chawal Utha Lain.
Faasla Naa Rakein!
Faasla Naa Rakein!
Agar Pyaar Ho Bhi Gaya,
Tou Kaunsa Ami Abu Man Jayenge?
Insan Ka Pajama Beshak Dheela
Insan Ka Pajama Beshak Dheela Ho Jaye
Mager Insan Ka Character Kabhi Dheela
Nahi Hona Chahiye…!!!
Wo Gourement Teacher Ho
Ager Kesi K Bal Bikhare Howy Hon,
Or Es K Kapry Bhi Istari Na Hon,
To Ya Hergiz Mat Sochna K Wo Gareeb Hai,
Hosakta Hai Wo Gourement Teacher Ho Or
Esy School Sy Chutiyan Hon.
Ek Chappl Aur Padi…
Mom: Sofa Letne Ke Liye Nahi Hota
Baithne Ke Liye Hota Hai.
Lerka Paise Urany Laga Hai
Maa: Suno G!!
Lerka Paise Urany Laga Hai
Jahan Chupati Hon Dhond Leta Hai.
Baap: Kaminy Ki Kitab Me Rakh Do,
Exam Tak Nahi Dhond Saky Ga.
Teacher Pappu Sy: Jawani Or Burhapy Me Keya Difference Hai?
Pappu Masomiyat Sy: Miss Wo Jawani Me Mobile Me Hasino
K Number Hoty Hain Or Burhapy Me Hakimo K. 😀
Uncle Bachy Sy: Aagy Ka Keya Plan Hai
Bacha: Bus Ap K Jaty He Nashty Ki Terali
Per Totny Ka Program Hai. 🙂
Good News For Pakistan.!!
ICC Ne Haliya World Cup Me Pak Vs India Match
K Doran Umer Akmal Ko Ghalat Out Denay Per
Pak Vs India Match Dobara Khilany Ka Elan Kar Dia Hai
Or Ye Match 30 Feb Ko Khela Jaye Ga….!!!!
World Cup 2015 🙂
Ajeeb Zamana A Gaya Hai Ab Tou “Sim” Ko B
“MATRIC” Karwana Zarori Hai.
Wo B “BIO” Me :*
Pakistan Zinda Bad.
Pakistani Team To
Pakistani Team To Haar Gayi Lekin
Dekho Kahin Tum Bhi Mujhe Haar Na Jaana!!
Cricket World Cup
Larki: Valentine Day Qareeb Hai, Tum Mujhe Kya Gift Do G
Larka Tumhe Kya Chahye
Larki: 1 Ring
Larka: Theek Hai Myn Ring Don Ga
Lekin Phone Mat Uthana Warna Balance Cut Jaye Ga!
Faqeer Ki Girlfriend. Funny
Faqeer: 10 Rupy Dy Do Sahab Chay Peon Ga.
Admi: Chay To 5 Rupy Ki Ati Hai.
Faqeer: Girlfriend Bhi Peay Ge.
Admi: Faqeer Ny Bhi Girlfriend Bana Li?
Faqeer: Nahi Sahab, Girlfriend Ny Faqeer Bana Dea.
Son To His Father While He Was Filling An Application Form.
Son: Papa Mother Tongue Keya Likhu?
Father: Likh De, Very Long And Uncontrollable.
Good News Bad News – Funny
Dad:Result Ka Kya Hua
Son: Dad, Ek Good News Hai Aur Aik Bad News
Dad:Good News Bata.
Son : Mai Pass Ho Gya.
Dad : Great, Aur Bad News.
Son:Good News Galat Hai.
KOI ANKHON MEIN
KOI ANKHON MEIN MULAQAT KAR LETA HAI,
BARA MUSHKIL HOTA HAI JAWAB DENA,
JAB KOI ENGLISH MAIN BAAT KAR LETA HAI.;-)
Papa Pe Dhyan Do….
TIPU Sultan Kaun Tha?
Padhi Pe Dhyan Do
CHINKY AUNTY Kaun Hai?
Papa Pe Dhyan Do….
Ek Nafrat Hi Nahin Dunyaa Main Dard Kaa Sabab ,,,,,,,!!!?
Koolhay Wali Vaccine
Bhi Bohat Dard Deti Hai.. :-D
Mere ghar ki chhat per
aagaye hain baadal..
wah wah wah..
Mere ghar ki chhat per
aagaye hain baadal,,
Ye msg na padho warna ho jaogy Pagal
Unsay kaho hum se jalna chhod de
... Ay dost..
Hum to woh siyah bakht hain agar kholayn
LOTAY Ki Dukan,,
to log Hagna
Kisi Si Juda Hona
Ager Itna Aasan Hota
Tou Jism Se Rooh Ko
Leny Kabhi Firishatay
Aik Pathan ne kisi larki se kaha k mujhe tum se kuch kehna he keh doon.
Pathan: ap ke pass NASWAR hey.
Hum chaat par chade patang udane ke bahane,
Wo bhi chaat par aayi kapde sukhane ke bahane,
Uske mummy ne jo dekha ye hasi najara,
Jhadu le aayi wo bandhar bhagane ke bahane..
tanha dekh k mjhse faraz ne kaha..
apka doston ne apko bhula dya hoga...
mene muskra k jawab diya....
wo beawafa nai tharki hain kisi larki ka number hath agaya hoga
Aik Knjos K Ghr Agh Lag Gae,
Wo Apny Ghr Ko Bacha Na Saka,
Q K Wo Sari Raat
Fir Biraged Walo Ko Miscall Marta Raha.
Man to Doctor: I want to live long, tell me any tricks for this
Doctor: Get married
Man: Then can I live long???
Doctor: No, this desire will no longer stay...
Yeh keh kr chor gya rani ko raja,
Yeh keh kr chor gya Rni ko Raja,
double sawari ty pabandi ay tu cycle ty aa ja.
Baap : bata ager sasoral walay shadi k din
scoter dain to car mangna, ager computer dain to laptop mnagna.
Bata : abaa agr lerki dain to os ki MAA mang loon
Lady: Is this my train?
Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady: Don''t try to be Funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to KArAchi..!
Station Master: No Madam, I''m afraid it''s too heavy...
Funny Quote on a married guy''s T-shirt.
All Women Are
I Married Their Queen. :-)
A Celebrity Is Someone Who Works Hard
All His Life To Become Known
& Then Wears Dark Glasses
To Avoid Being Recognised. "
A Celebrity Is Someone Who Works Hard
All His Life To Become Known
& Then Wears Dark Glasses
To Avoid Being Recognised. "
Pathan goes India illegally,Security: Who are you?
Pathan: I am Hindu.
Security: Tell me tha 5 names of Bhagwan!
Pathan: Yassu, Panju, Haar, Kabutar, Doli.
Send me sms & win
10 Lac ki car ka PHOTO
29" TV ka BOX
Dubai janay walay pl@ne ko TATA kernay ka moqa aur
mere saath DINNER wo bhi aap k gher .
I Made No Resolutions For The New Year.
The Habit of Making Plans,
And Molding My Life
Is Too Much of
A Daily Event For Me
Open with Love...
If I disturb U
I am Sorry!
But I need
I love everybody.
Some I love to be around,
Some I love to avoid,
others I would love to punch in the face.
Life is nothing without LOVE,
Love is emotion & Kiss is practical,
don't get emotional, yar just b practical
So STOP loving and START Kissing.
Promise me we are true friends
I am lamp you are light
I am Coke you are Sprite
I am Sawan you are badal
I am Normal you are Pagal
I am Water you are Tanki
I am Tarzan you are Monkey
It's Perfectly Legal To
Kill Someone In Your
I Wake Up With A Smile Everyday
Good Morning :-)
Ladies hostel caught Fire
It took 1 hour to bring the Fire under control
& another 3 hrs 2 bring d Firemen
When u feel lonely and alone
& cannot see any one around you,
the world seems to be fading away,
come along with me
i'll take u to an eye specialist !!
Father: Your teacher says she finds it
Impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!
This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat,
keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat,
20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!
A scientist cannot b a president,but kalam did it.
A conductor cannot b a superstar,but Rajini did it.
A monkey cannot operate mobile,
but u mere lal, mind blowing..... (u did it)
Aaj kuch ghabraaye se lagte ho,
Thand se kuch kap-kapaaye se lagte ho,
Nikhar kar aayi hai soorat aapki,
BAHUT DINO KE BAAD NAHAAYE SE LAGTE HO..
Manager: What is your qualification?
Pappu: I’m Ph.D.
Manager: What do you mean by Ph.D.?
Pappu: Passed high school with difficulty.
A cute Nurse came for interview.
Doctor: What salary do you expect?
Nurse: Rs 10,000
Doctor was overjoyed and said: My pleasure.
Nurse: With pleasure its Rs 25,000
One boy on his way to home with his mom after school,
Saw a couple kissing on the road,
He suddenly shouted and said look mom,
They are fighting for CHEWING GUM.
Husband and Wife had a Fight.
Wife called Mom: He fought with me again,
I am coming to you.
Mom: No Sun, he must pay for his mistake,
I am coming to stay with you!
Why are wives ‘more’ dangerous than the Mafia?
The mafia wants either your money or life…
The wives want both!
Dog was Chasing Titu
Titu runs, but Laughing…
A Man asked why are you Laughing? Titu replied
I have put Vodafone Sim, but the Hutch network is Following…
If you think your boss is stupid.
You would not get the job.
If he was smarter.
Madam to Student: Last Semester you were roaming
with that girl and this semester, you are roaming with other.
What you think of yourself?
Boy: Syllabus changed mam.
Relationship status and singer,
Before relationship, Honey Singh!
When in relationship: Arjit Singh!
After breakup: Jagjit Singh.
Teacher: what do u call a person who cannot hear anything?
Santa: You can call him anything, because he cannot hear anything.
A lady tourist went to a country on a vacation. In the evening,
she was toddling on the beach. A security person came to her and said,
‘Mam only one-piece is allowed here.’
The lady was awe, thinking which one to open.
When somebody who is deeply
in Love with you tells that
cute, beautiful, & angelic, talented
I agree. That’s true,
Believe me, I swear because love is definitely blind
Most people have 5 senses.
Some people have 6 senses.
But your blessed with 7 senses.
An extra sense is NON-SENSE.
The Sun makes moon shine,
Current makes bulbs shine,
Wax makes candles shine But,
I’m really confused.
Wat makes you shine?
Is it Harpic or Domex!
In 3 ways, you can break the mirror,
1. Throw stone at the mirror,
2. Throw the mirror on the floor.
3. Stand in front of the mirror and smile.
By showing your teeth!
Your network tariff has changed!
Call charges are now calculated
according to brain size.
The smaller the cheaper!
Congrats You can make free calls!
My eyes detected
My heart reacted
Thousand were rejected &
Only you were selected.
Because I needed a monkey for an advertisement.
What? Is A Difference Between
A Kiss, A Car and A Monkey?
A Kiss Is So Dear,
A Car Is Too Dear And
A Monkey Is You Dear.
Do you remember the day we travelled in a car?
I put my dog out of the window,
You put your face out,
Then people started shouting
A family comes out of an electronic shop,
Son holds ‘iPad’
Daughter holds ‘iPod’
Mother holds ‘iPhone’
Father is holding a banner that says |_I paid_
Santa: Aaj Mera Beta First Class Me Aaya
Teacher: Very Good
Santa: RAJDHANI EXPRESS TRAIN Me
Don’t give importance to money
It can give bed but not sleep,
Books but not brains,
Clothes but not beauty,
Luxuries but not happiness.
So, Transfer it to my account!
Thoughts for the night:
Don’t waste time by thinking about your past or future!
Better kill some mosquitoes in that time.
So, that you can sleep better!
Once A Secretary at Apple Was Late
Because Of Car Trouble, Steve Jobs
Gave Her a Jaguar and Said,
‘Don’t Be Late Anymore.’
When I Was Late My Boss Gave Me A Letter
And Told Me to Never Come Back Lol!
Money Can Buy a House Not Home A
Bed but Not Sleep, Medicine But
Not Health, Money Is Dirty It
Only Causes Pain and Suffering
Send Me All Ur Money and Be Happy!
Don’t Lose Hope If You Aren’t
Getting Promotion in Office.
Remember, Pradyumann Is Still
An Acp And Daya Is Still An
Inspector! And That Too,
Even After 17 Years of Service!
After Robbing the Bank, 1 Robber
To Clerk: Did You See Me Robbing?
Clerk: Yes, I Saw You.
Robber Killed Him and Asked
To the Next Clerk: Did You? Second
Clerk: No, But My Wife Saw You!
Rose Is Red, Sky Is Blue A
Friend Like You Should Be Kept
In Zoo, Don’t Mind… There
You Will Find Me Too, Not In
A Cage, But Laughing at You.
This Message Is Strictly For,
Smart and Intelligent People;
And If You Have Received It. Then
Obviously, It’s A Technical Error.
The Men Are Very Kind and Women
Are Very Selfish. Proof.
Most Women Don’t Like Help Unknown
Men, But All Men Are Ready
Anytime to Help Unknown Women!
Sense of Responsibility:
A Man Goes to Library And
Asks for A Book on Suicide.
Librarian Looks at Him And
‘Bhai Wapas Kaun Dene Aayega
Teacher: Tum late kion aye ho?
Student: Ammi Abbu lar rahy thay eslie
Teacher:Wo lar rahay thay tu tum kion late aye
Student: Mera ek joota ammi ke pas tha owr ek abbu ke pas
Pathan rishtay k liyea tasveer khichwa raha tha
Background main gadha bhi aa gaya
Pathan nay tasveer kay saath yeh likh kar bheja k:
“Oye Hum aagay waala hay”:)
If Electricity Goes in America,
They Call the Power Station.
In Japan, They Test the Fuse,
But in India They Check The
‘Sab Ki Gayi Hai Na, Fir Thik Hai’
Grandfather to Grandson:
Go Hide, Your Teacher Is Coming
As You Bunked School Today.
Grandson: You Go Hide,
I Told Her You Passed Away…
Sister to Brother: What Are You Going
To Gift Grandma on Her Birthday?
Sister: But Grandma Does Not Play.
Brother: On My Birthday, She Gave
Me Bhagvad Gita. Uska Kya!
Teacher: Who Is Terrorist?
Santa: Terrorist Is A
Tourist, Who Comes From
Another Country to Celebrate
Diwali In Our Country.
If Wife Kisses Every Time You Come
Back Home, Remember Its Not
Affection. It’s Inspection Of
Daaru, Perfume or Lipstick,
Be Careful. Janhit Me Jaari.
Teacher: If A Tiger Attacks
Your Mother in Law and Your
Wife at The Same Time, Whom
Would You Save?
Santa: Of course, The
Tiger, Very Few Are Left!
Superb Attitude for Life: Cheers
All the Boys for This. Living
With Wife Is a Part of Life,
But Living with The Same
Wife for Years, Is Art of Life!
A Letter from A Teacher to A Parent
Dear Parent, Kumar Doesn’t Smell
Nice in Class, Please Try to Bath
Him. Parents Answer: Dear
Teacher, Kumar Is Not A
Rose, Don’t Smell Him Teach Him.
Santa Was Driving Car Very Fast,
Traffic Police Caught Him…
Santa: Sir, I Am Learning Driving.
Police: Without Teacher?
Santa: Ya, Its Correspondence Course!
Husband and Wife Are Sleeping,
Wife Dreaming and She Suddenly
Quick, My Husband Is Back.
Husband Gets Up in Lightening
Speed & Jumps Out of The Window!
Arranged Marriage Is Like.
You Are Walking and Unfortunately
A Snake Bites You…
And Love Marriage Is.
Dancing in Front of a Cobra
Come Bite … Come Bite Me…
Two Friends Were Walking But
Suddenly They Stopped.
1st: Oh, My God, My Girlfriend And
My Wife Are Coming Together.
2nd: Damn Mine Too…
If You Feel Stressed,
Give Yourself a Break,
Ice Cream Chocolates Candy
Cake. Why? Because.
STRESSED Ka Ultra Spelling,
DESSERTS Hota Hai!
Jeeto: What Do You Think About
Santa: Try to Count the Stars
In the Sky.
Jeeto: Wow, So Its Infinite.
Santa: No Baby,
It’s A Waste of Time.
100. 90% Girls in Facebook Say
They Are in Relationship.
90% Boys in Facebook Say
They Are Single.
Then Who Are Liars?
Boys or Girls
जीवन के लिए चाय और कॉफ़ी जैसे दो विकल्प होते हैं। जिंदगी भी वैसे ही दो विकल्प है - एंजॉय या एन्नोय!
पत्नी: क्या आप मुझे स्मार्ट कहते हैं? पति: हां, तुम्हारी जितनी स्मार्टी दुनिया भर में कहीं नहीं मिलती!
पप्पु: एक जोक सुनाओ। बंता: बिलकुल! तुम दोस्त बनो, जोक तुम्हारे खुद के जीवन होंगे।
दोस्त: यार, मैंने एक नया फोन खरीदा है! मित्र: वाह, कौन सा फोन है? दोस्त: बहुत सॉरी, फोन नहीं है, फिरंगी लोग कहते हैं, फोन या फोन।
एक आदमी पोलिस के थिकट काटवाने पहुंचा। आदमी: भैया, जल्दी काट दो, मैं दर्शन देखने जा रहा हूँ। पुलिसवाला: अरे वाह, कहाँ जा रहे हो दर्शन देखने? आदमी: अरे वो भी एक नहीं, दो दर्शन। ससुराल और मायके!
वो क्या है ना, जब भी मैं कॉफ़ी पीता हूँ, तो खुशी के मारे सॉरी कहता हूँ। कोफ़ी-सॉरी!
सोचा था खुद को एक महान खिलाड़ी बनाऊंगा। पर एक्साम में नंबर आएं, तो खुद को रॉकस्टार समझ बैठा। गिटार खरीद दी।
वो जब भी गांव जाता हूँ, तो भगवान का धन्यवाद करता हूँ। गांव वाले तो काम धंधा छोड़ कर सारे मंदिरों में भगवान के नंदू की चार्पाई पर सोते हैं।
जब तक फेसबुक पर वैकेशन की तस्वीरें नहीं डालते, वैकेशन का असली मजा नहीं आता।
वो क्या है ना, जब समझ नहीं आए तो गूगल बाबूजी को समझ आ जाते हैं।
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